New York is tough. Seriously. And different. Trashy, sometimes backwards, sometimes just plain annoying and sometimes it just hates you. It throws you around, tries to drive you nuts with noise, heat, cornering you with people, crazy people. And gives you blow after blow before you either break down and give up or kinda survive and adapt. And adaption means: becoming fast, hounded, impatient, rude and overall crazy enough to live. New Yorkers don’t choose to be, they are cut, formed, baked and swallowed.
I had great expectations for New York City. That was the first mistake. I gave up on Shanghai, because I wanted more. More art, more friends, more money, more people to talk to. New York seemed the place to be. In London I just arrived without anything, any ideas for my life. It was great. In New York I arrived with my whole New York Life already planned ahead. Disappointment was behind the door. I got frustrated fast. Not that I didn’t enjoy the beginning. I was happy to be there, I had people to talk to and my (unemployed) life was problematic because of money, but unproblematic otherwise. I had my places to hang out, lot of museums and readings and movies to watch and overall nothing better to do.
Then I got a job.
And most of the people I got to know left, so it was like starting all over again. I thought it would be more stable than all the other places I’ve been to. But it’s the same coming and going. Not that my job is bad, annoying sometimes, but good. Still it took me ages to get along with my life here. Everybody says that the New York way is always the hardest way. It is like that. Now after several months here I made peace with the city. It’s not the city, that’s the problem. It’s me. Because after all my life here is not much different than everywhere else I lived before. My life is not million times better in New York, because I’m still the same person. The city does not change you that much. After this thought, life becomes way easier. In the words of the wise girl:
“Life sucks no matter what, so don’t be fooled by location changes.”
How is this for a New York comment? 😉
I visited you there and I’d say… I’m afraid I couldn’t enjoy life there. maybe “there” was just your district? maybe “there” was the city? or maybe “there” was the whole fucking country? New York seems too big and too expensive and everybody seems to be busy doing his shit. And one is not allowed to smoke and one is not allowed to drink and one needs a license to dance and one is always kind of afraid of the police. And one can feel these limitations of “freedom” everywhere. “Freedom” there seems to be the freedom of “earning money however you’d like to”. Let me refer to a series I watched recently about the “philosophy of freedom”: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (S02E12) Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody’s Ass.
maybe new york is kind of a strange version of “the munich of america” or even worse. however, new york looks fantastic and the sound of the ambulance downtown is just amazing!!! and maybe it’s a good place to start your own business. or to have conversations about sexual related issues with strangers… who wouldn’t ever remember your name of course.
New York is not much different than every other city on the planet (like London, Shanghai, Berlin). The freedom is the same everywhere. My expectations were different:
London: None
Shanghai: Some
New York: Lots
was nützt einem die freiheit wenn man nix zu essen hat?
Essen braucht man, aber das kannst du auch in London oder Schanghai nicht haben …
I can’t think of any clever words, so I will use someone else’s:
“On any person who desires such queer prizes, New York will bestow the gift of loneliness and the gift of privacy. It is this largess that accounts for the presence within the city’s walls of a considerable section of the population; for the residents of Manhattan are to a large extent strangers who have pulled up stakes somewhere and come to town, seeking sanctuary or fulfillment or some greater or lesser grail. The capacity to make such dubious gifts is a mysterious quality of New York. It can destroy an individual, or it can fulfill him, depending a good deal on luck. No one should come to New York to live unless he is willing to be lucky.” -E.B. White, Here is New York
Nice, it’s true.