New York is tough. Seriously. And different. Trashy, sometimes backwards, sometimes just plain annoying and sometimes it just hates you. It throws you around, tries to drive you nuts with noise, heat, cornering you with people, crazy people. And gives you blow after blow before you either break down and give up or kinda survive and adapt. And adaption means: becoming fast, hounded, impatient, rude and overall crazy enough to live. New Yorkers don’t choose to be, they are cut, formed, baked and swallowed.
I had great expectations for New York City. That was the first mistake. I gave up on Shanghai, because I wanted more. More art, more friends, more money, more people to talk to. New York seemed the place to be. In London I just arrived without anything, any ideas for my life. It was great. In New York I arrived with my whole New York Life already planned ahead. Disappointment was behind the door. I got frustrated fast. Not that I didn’t enjoy the beginning. I was happy to be there, I had people to talk to and my (unemployed) life was problematic because of money, but unproblematic otherwise. I had my places to hang out, lot of museums and readings and movies to watch and overall nothing better to do.
Then I got a job.
And most of the people I got to know left, so it was like starting all over again. I thought it would be more stable than all the other places I’ve been to. But it’s the same coming and going. Not that my job is bad, annoying sometimes, but good. Still it took me ages to get along with my life here. Everybody says that the New York way is always the hardest way. It is like that. Now after several months here I made peace with the city. It’s not the city, that’s the problem. It’s me. Because after all my life here is not much different than everywhere else I lived before. My life is not million times better in New York, because I’m still the same person. The city does not change you that much. After this thought, life becomes way easier. In the words of the wise girl:
“Life sucks no matter what, so don’t be fooled by location changes.”
How is this for a New York comment? 😉